lunes, 9 de junio de 2008

Mentiras

Editado: 18 junio 2008
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Si quedan palabras en este mundo en que todo se extingue, cada día más pobre y más rica, te digo:
Lo mío era tu piel, ese desierto de barro y tristeza añeja en tu mirada. Era tu voz en mi oído mi planeta, llevo alojada su bala.
Y era a tu cerebro a quien amaba, tu bello cerebro metiéndose en el mío como lengua jugosa, dibujándome tu mundo, domingos de música etérea y tardes de humo doble agenciado.
Me vertí en tu tierra porque ella ya me amaba.
Y huí. Obedeciendo el dictado del miedo universal.
Ya ves que todo cambia. 

De hambrunas nuevas y libertades se habla. Mentiras. 
Pero nadie habla de nosotros que fuimos verdad. 
Ni tú, que apareces a ver si aun te respiro.
Aaaaaajummmjisssssss.
Sí, aun.
Sólo que ahora eres mi luto.
Yo un cóndor ciego que pasa.

© ALR, 2008, Puerto Rico
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3 comentarios:

Joseph Hutchison dijo...

Ana, I've tried to put this one into English. Here it is—VERY rough, I'm afraid:

LIES

If words exist in this world where everything’s erased, every day poorer and richer, I tell you:
My skin was your skin, this muddy desert and the ancient sadness in your glance. Your voice at my ear was my planet, its bullet lodged in me.
And it was your intelligence that was loved, your beautiful intelligence placed in me like a juicy tongue, drawing your world to me, Sundays of ethereal music and evenings of twisted smoke.
I poured myself into your land because it already loved me.
And I fled. Obeying the dictates of universal fear.
You see that everything changes. New cravings and freedoms are spoken of. Lies. But nobody says what we really were. Nor you, who turn up to see if I even breathe you.
Aaaaaajummmmmjisssssss.
Yes, even I.
Only now you are my mourning. I a blind condor passing over.

I don't believe the lines will come across correctly. And there are two phrases in particular that have puzzled me. One is "humo doble agenciado," and the other is "Aaaaaajummmmmjisssssss".

¡Quiero saber lo que piensa!

—Joe H

Ana dijo...

Joseph,
I wrote these versos directly to the posting page, as in escritura automática, so finding your translation has been a cheerful experience.
I don’t consider it to be rough at all.
'Twisted' is perfect for my intention.
'Aaaaaajummmjisssssss' had an onomatopoeic intention, as when inhaling exhaling with a certain tiredness, but maybe if it’s done in English, it could sound different. :)
In the line I use the word cerebro, I imagined the brain as a whole, capable of not yet discovered powers and energy, known until now as miraculous or paranormal, but an innate answer to human questions about love, life and death and all creativity mysteries as in poetry or prose, and since intelligence is actually assumed to have certain limitations, I’m not sure if I’d rather keep the word 'brain' for its complexity.
Well, at the end all is intelligence.
Muchísimas gracias for your translation, I really appreciate it.
Saludos desde Puerto Rico!

Joseph Hutchison dijo...

Gracias por sus aclaraciones, Ana. Voy a jugar con las palabras un poco más y le permiten saber lo que ocurre.

Pero tengo una pregunta más. Que es el "usted" a quien el narrador habla en el poema?

Greetings from Colorado!

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